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Showing posts from January, 2021

Seattle's Distance Bullshit

It should be well-known, at this point, that the grandeur and eloquence of a powerhouse such as Seattle is bound to attract decent sports markets. Considering they've had many major Four teams in the past and present (Mariners, Seahawks, Supersonics - even the Sounders for major five), it's no wonder that the NHL is looking to boot up the next franchise in Seattle, for its history and market. It's some wonder, however, that many of these teams are financial and performative disasters. Supersonics dipped in the mid 2000s because our eminent Lord and Savior, Howard Schultz, dropped them off in Oklahoma City to die a painful death of being really good as the Thunder. The Mariners are a punchline that operates solely to highlight the fact that baseball is nihilistic. The Seattle Totems, an erstwhile Kraken, are only worth discussing at this point as a foil to them. The only sports team that isn't an outright menagerie of failure is the Seahawks. What the  fuck  is going on

Ron Francis and the Cursed Child

You are Ron Francis, a historied member of the NHL, one of the all-time greats as a centre, and a decent-enough Hurricanes GM. Unceremoniously dropped from said role, you could easily call it a career and become a name for the ages, no problem. Instead, you choose to accept the role as the GM for the latest and greatest in NHL team technology, the Seattle Somethings. Feet are dragged, years are bad, but eventually things are picked up a year or so later, and by golly if this won't be the redemption for the hellswamp that is 2020. Sure, things were delayed, but you finally feel as if things are on the up-and-up. You forgot someone, didn't you, Ron? You forgot about Alexis LaFreniere. Now, of course there are killer prospects every year for the NHL - otherwise, the draft would be a dull, lackluster affair, and sports are the greatest thing on turf/ice/whatever, and good god that  can't be. So, we hype up kids who aren't old enough to make responsible decisions, as is trad

Honda West: Our Collapsing Society

 When Little Caeser's Arena was crowned as such in 2019, my gut reaction was an uncomfortable pit in my stomach, almost as if I had dared to eat one of their pizzas at some point after 1985.  I had shrugged it off, as all the other arenas across sports tend to have shameless advertising attached to them - banks and cell phone companies have cornered the market for a while, but Tropicana and Smoothie King are just a couple examples of fields and stadiums that sound like they are intended to be ingested. Just because Little Caeser's have a soulless stranglehold on a single stadium does not indicate death knells for the rest of the NHL, right? Right? As of yesterday, the NHL has deigned and dared to sell the names of their divisions to four companies, resulting in what can be described with many filthy, filthy words. As this blog is an attempt to understand and know the Seattle Kraken, we will focus on the division-formerly-known-as-Pacific: Honda NHL ® West Division. The unease I